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'Turn criticism into acclaim'

by Natalie Bradley

I've never met a business that didn't have criticism some of the time. You can't please everyone every time, but you can learn from it. Most people hide from criticism and complaints instead of growing from them. But, if you look at the criticism that you may receive from time to time, it can actually be a gold mine of opportunities from which you can grow.

Don't hide from the problem. When you get a complaint, don't run the other direction or go into defense mode. Most of us immediately go to that bad place when we get an email from an unhappy bride (let's be honest, it's rarely a phone call). Read the issue at hand, print it out and walk away. Do not under any circumstances reply right now. It will not be pretty and it certainly won't serve your company or the bride.

Most brides with complaints honestly just want to be heard. Funny enough, I've discovered that 90% of our complaints have nothing to do with me, my business, or anything I've done. But that doesn't mean that I don't have a responsibility to the bride and it doesn't mean that I have nothing to learn. 

When you listen without reaction, defense or manipulation, she will put down her boxing gloves. One of my wedding colleagues and good friend has said that I have this way of talking to brides that really makes them feel heard and calms them down ' a bride whisperer of sorts I guess! But it's not just a talent that I have - we can all do this. When you take your own ego out of the mix, you can hear all sorts of things that aren't being said. Her bridesmaids weren't helpful or supportive, her mom made the wedding about her, the groom got drunk and passed out, or her mother-in-law made a remark that really got to her. Whatever happened, often you're the scapegoat, because she can't say what she really wants to to those people. But she can complain that you didn't make her cake exactly like the picture she brought in, or the peonies weren't the perfect shade of pink you discussed, or why didn't you airbrush out her bulge below the waist! 

After listening, always say these magic words: 'I understand how you feel and I want to make it right.' When you make this statement, she sighs that huge breath of relief. You are no longer the 'bad guy'. You're her friend again. You're on her side. And now you can get to the real issue at hand. What's really going on here.

Once these magic words are said, the anger dissolves and you can fix the frustration. Obviously, I'm not speaking about the brides who are a little of their rocker and just want their money back for everything because they blew up their budget. No, these are the brides who have somewhat valid issues or complaints and can be reasoned with. 

When a bride realizes you care and you're not 'after her,' her tune changes completely. We've had our share of complaints - some valid and some that had nothing to do with us at all. But what always happens is that they always become huge fans after the fact. One bride who was so angry with me after the wedding for reasons totally beyond my control (she stopped smoking on her wedding day and felt insane, the groom's family hated her, and that sort of thing) reached out to me and I took the steps above. 

When it was all said and done, she said, 'You are so customer service oriented! You have no idea what it feels like to have an issue and have someone who cares listen and help me.' And a few months later, she not only sent me one of the best testimonials ever, but she also sent a baby present when she found out I was expecting much later. She has referred multiple brides to us since and it one of our raving fans to this day!

But, if I hadn't taken the time to listen, care, and respond, it would have turned out much differently. This is a highly emotional industry (as I'm sure you already know). When you're dealing with delicate emotions and issues, you must also respond delicately and with compassion. That's all they want from us. 

Your Bride Attraction Assignment

Follow the 'recipe' for reacting to criticism to turn it around to be bride attractive in the long run. And, if you have areas in your business that honestly need some tweaking, learn from these gold mines and valuable information brides are giving you. 

If we don't learn from our mistakes, we can never grow. Take your ego away, and put your heart back into your business when you get these opportunities to adapt, change and grow!

© 2008-2010 Soirée! Ltd. 

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Event Planning entrepreneur Natalie Bradley publishes the "Bride Attraction" weekly e-zine. Get your F*REE audio course: "5 Ways to Recession-Proof Your Wedding Business...Starting Today!l" at